Today when my student started quoting Eminem in response to our conversation on censorship and banned books, mumbling under his breath, "So the FCC won't let me be. Or let me be me so let me see. They tried to shut me down on MTV," I say, "NICE way to throw-back Eminem!" Needless to say, my students were mildly appalled - one of them saying, "Hey, teachers aren't [supposed to be] cool!" That felt awesome. Thanks, MTV circa 2002 - I knew there was a reason to be a junkie - I was storing pop culture knowledge for my teaching career!
Then, the most amazing thing happened. Another student, yes, I had my back turned, BUT! I wear ear-plugs at shows, and yes, I have ears that can hear notes being passed and texts being sent. So when I hear one of my students drop an F-bomb, blatantly, shamelessly, my ears ring and my pulse quickens - this is the moment - these seconds where I have no idea what I will do, but my body will take over, and something will happen.
My eyes widened and I felt my voice drop into that "teacher voice" range. I went over to his desk, eyebrows raised. I said, "You do not say that in my class --" but, as I was staring at him, I realized, as if irony could be an anvil dropping from the sky, that my lesson for today was on, yes, censorship. I started to smile. I had the whole class' attention, so I asked a question. "Why did I just freak out? Why did I want to censor him? What does this teach you about language?" My hands wildly gesticulating at this point - "That language is powerful. That is can create reactions in people, that it has a strong effect, that it is scary and beautiful, and sometimes we want to protect others from...language."
It was perfect. I think they got it, especially as they kept testing me throughout the hour with other "intense" words, but I just had to laugh. Also, after modifying my lesson last night to include more specific discussion questions and a set protocol, the discussion improved phenomenally. I walked around with a timer and "made" them speak on each question for two minutes. It was organized, thorough, and it took longer than I thought! Yay! I filled a class period with thoughtful, engaging material! Awesome!
And so the day went on - searching for the last working copier in the largest high school in Alaska is a funny adventure. I came upon one that was leaking tissue paper, as though the poor creature's organs were leaking out. I opened a door to pull a jam and found all of these tissue paper roses, crinkles, and layers - I didn't even know there was tissue paper in copiers! So I left a sign warning future travelers, and trudged onward.
5th hour - The discussion on evil was so much fun. Again, put them into groups, was specific about each student's "role," and had my teacher aide help moderate the groups. They were asking about vocabulary - "what is oppression? what is pro-life? what is an activist?" They were learning in context, and they were arguing in their small groups, and debating, and thinking, and when I asked them what they learned about evil, they said, "it comes in all forms, and is dependent on many factors." yes. More and more I learn, that if my students are speaking in thoughtful ways, and I am not, I am doing something right.
And I figured this much out: when I wake up in the morning, feeling restless, crowded out by the deep morning's darkness, and I honestly don't want to get in the car and fall asleep in the backseat for 45 minutes, and start this all over again, I will remember this: teaching, or going to teach in the morning, is like going to the gym. I don't want to do it. I would do anything to not do it. But, I kick my butt into gear - I put on eyeshadow and listen to trashy pop and ask for a little whipped cream on my mocha - and I get there. And then, once there, just like the gym, in the middle of my workout, headphones, serotonin pulsing in my blood, sweat beads on my eyelids, I think - I love this. I love this, I really do, and I'm so glad I'm here. I mean, I get to talk with young people all day about humanity: evil, love, struggle, happiness, language, and, man. That's awesome.
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